[ exams and movies ]

why's everyone so quiet recently? hardly any blogs updated, hardly any visitors anymore ;p and me hardly even updating... maybe it's cause everyone's so busy with life, studies and work.. shouldn't i be doing the same?

well, i guess not. exams just in a couple of days and i need to cram 3 months of work in the next 4 days. not to forgot a certain dbms project which was given 3 months ago, barely even started, and needs to be handed up by next monday. and also after all that from the 26th til the week of 2nd june, i'll need to again produce 3 months of work in 1 week. good uh? i'm so smart sometimes.

*bangs head onto wall*

programming for the internet [pfi] exam on tuesday sucked like hell. the project which was handed up on friday isn't even working. the program i mean. that's what you get when you try to do an assignment given to you 3 months ago in 1 week. i'm a failure at leading groups. i used to be okay nowadays i just plain suck. i'm irresponsible for not running the project like it's suppose to. a leader should be in charge of making sure everything goes smoothly, and not last minute. this is what happens when a person, like me, get a 6 month break from studies and attempts to start college again, this being my final year at that.

whatever i planned before, as in what i should be doing this year hasn't for once followed. friend asked me whether i remembered what my reasons for staying back. one of them anyways... and of course there were many... just that i forgot this one in particular and see what happened, i didn't even take responsibility in making sure i tried to accomplish that one goal. a failure... that's what i am!

i used to think that i could pass easily with just a little effort. it's not the same anymore once you're in your last year. no doubt i never bothered to listen to my lectures when i was in my 1st & 2nd year and still managed to get a credit in those subjects... but now? lazy!! that's what i've become. how am i suppose to study 3 months of work on a subject i absolutely abhor [exagerrating here] in the next 4 days? do you think it's possible? sure, why not. actually i could.. if i spent at least 6 hours a day everday in the library only studying that one subject, forgeting the other one. but then that would mean abandoning the project that will also need my attention in otherwise it would be unfair to other fellow group members to only focus on that and not their exams, isn't it?

this is my bloody last year and i'm wasting it. i should be putting all my effort into it, but i guess with a dash of too much laziness, nothing ever falls into place. laziness, my friends, is the biggest sin ever. or is there another name for it? wait... lemme check.

sloth : aversion to work; laziness.

that's what it is... i took a "seven sins" test last time, and it said that pride is my biggest sin, it also the worst of them all, according to Dante. but i'm pretty sure if i redid it, the results would be sloth. Dante considers the seven sins as offenses against love. really eh? -_^ this is what he categorises them into:

Perverted Love: Pride, Envy, Wrath/Anger
Insufficient Love: Sloth
Excessive Love of Earthly Goods: Avarice/Greed, Gluttony, Lust

so does that mean i'm insufficient of love? i've got love all around me. love from my family, friends... what else is there isn't it? but i doubt that's the reason. but could it really be? the fact that i don't much care anymore for anything that in turn i become lazy? zeal apparently is the antidote for sloth.

Zeal is the energetic response of the heart to God's commands. The other sins work together to deaden the spiritual senses so we first become slow to respond to God and then drift completely into the sleep of complacency.

in a way, it is true. i haven't been praying much to God recently. been neglecting Him all together. hmm... i guess every action has a reaction. as long as i know the source to my problem, it's good. if i didn't, i would be in big trouble isn't it? so if i started my daily devotion to God again as i did before, things won't as bad as it is at the moment? sounds so easy, but i feel it might just be like the proverbial said than done. perhaps.

well, to learn more about Dante's views on the seven sins, you can always check it out here. interesting really... might just find the solution to your current problem eh?


***

matrix, yes i would have to come to that eventually, was a blast. good friend of mine managed to buy tickets for me on the 13th, two days before official screening, and got pretty good seats for a prime time show. while watching it, i was telling myself... "this is so cool... this is so cool!!. and it was. neo was absolutely droolworthy. :þ~ he and his cool black sunglasses, cool big black long coat... super cool fighting sequences... *sigh*

anyone got another word for "cool" to spare? i think i've over used it already. except for a minor disappointment in one or two scenes where the characters looked rather obviously animated.. it was good. the story line was interesting... and the ending came in as a bit of a surprise. not the end end, but the part before the end. don't wanna spoil it for those who haven't caught it yet, so i shall stop here.

and end this entry i shall for now. need to get some studying done as well. hopefully... there might be hope. i see some light for the moment. maybe because Dante has shed some for me to see :)

ciao.