[ yet another year has passed ]

looking back, all i see is.... nothing great... but i /have/ accomplished a few things. like graduated for one, got my first permanent job, tried out for a scholarship (which i'll explain more later), and probably a few others things which i can't remember (it's all mostly in this blog anyways).

so yesterday, first i get an e-card from my friend who thought he'd passed my birthday. haha, he actually sent it just a couple of hours before so.. not bad. then once again my good friend wishes me at midnight (australian time) and later at midnight (malaysian time) i get a call from her. thanks dahling ;)

i got 3 smses before i went to sleep and 1 just before i woke up. haha, enervate-chan always up so early in the morning ^^;; and a couple more during work along with some phone calls (1 person who called me up, never usually calls me up, didn't know it was my birthday.. haha, quite funny that one and he still doesn't know ^^;;). none of my workmates knew either. i only converse mostly with 1 and that also i just came to the company n all... at this point in our office relationship (professional of course) nobody is into the birthday things yet. all still formal a bit with each other.

left the office around 5:45pm, got stuck in a jam for a while, home by 6.30pm and as i walk in.. my dad (who'd also just returneth from work) tells me i got a letter. letter from the japan embassy. what's so ironic is.. as part of the application, it was an advantage to have a 'letter of acceptance' from a particular uni in japan to higher your chances of getting the scholarship. need a professor to guide you n stuff. so i'd emailed tokyo technology uni's international students department regarding it and surprised by their efficiency, i got a reply today from them telling me that i'd emailed the wrong people and needed to look for a professor (link provided by them) and a few more details about how to go about it. so i check the site during work for a suitable professor incharge of my field of "expertise" and found one.

wanted to come home and tell my dad the exciting news and draft and email tonight to be sent to that professor. so the ironic part is the fact that i get a letter from the japan embassy today as well. wanna know what else is ironic? i knew it would be today because the first test was on my mom's birthday, the interview on my brother's birthday.. and of course the next news from them would be on mine. i open the letter and guess what?! i didn't get it.

yeap, sad but... when i went for the interview that day, i'd met some people who'd attempted to get the scholarship a couple of times already. it's like doing your grade 8 piano exam and it's ok to fail it because it's not that easy and esp when you teacher doesn't have much faith in you since you're not that good a piano player but by a miracle of 1 mark you passed anyway. yep, something like that but in this case i was 1 mark short. just so happened today while surfing for the professor's details, i was also looking at the other japan scholarships offered here. 1 needed 3-5 years of work experience, and another i'm not so sure about it. might have to go to their office or something to get a application.

so in the time being, i'm lucky to have taken the job i have now, so i must work hard to do a good job at that :)

some birthday it turned out to be eh? well, i wasn't expecting much. especially in the "friends remembering department" because year after year it never fails to surprise me how many people actually remembers. sometimes you wonder whether should you not bother about it or, why do "I" even bother about others or... yeah well.. things. little things which make me hate birthdays. it has not been a birthday i've liked in 5 years so what's another to add to the list? should just keep what i did have/get closest to me. cherish those moments and perhaps it won't look so bad afterall.